I am coming clean.
I can't hide it any longer.
I am bringing this out into the light and air,
shaking off the dust and cobwebs
and allowing it to breathe.
There is no shame in what I have to tell you,
though it may seem silly or foolish.
Sometimes it haunts me in my as I sleep,
and makes an appearance during times of reverie.
Other times it burns to be expressed,
and I just have to succumb.

I am obsessed with Phantom of the Opera.
With all of it-- the story, the music, the set design,
with the Phantom himself (especially when played
by the yummy Gerard Butler, as in the 2004 movie).
Thanks to Anne of Fiona and Twig
for featuring some additional images of
the lovely Gerard Butler and
inspiring me to do this post!

I can identify with Christine's struggle to acknowledge
the darker and deeper parts of herself,
while not getting lost in the process.
I can feel the pull the Phantom
has on her when he sings or calls out her name.

He leads Christine into the catacombs,
his underworld,
a den of his own design,
far away from the public life
she leads first, as a chorus girl,
and then, as a stand-in soprano
for the Opera Populaire.

The Phantom's lair is darkly opulent.
It inspires a sense of mystery
and passionate longings,
where one is free
to embrace the unknown
and surrender
as unspoken fantasies unwind.

The top-side world has some intrigue of its own;
however, much of it is instigated by the Phantom or
by the lore that surrounds him.

Then there is the darling boy, Raoul,
an old friend from Christine's childhood,
who represents safety, security, familiarity,
priviledge, and comfort,
memories of life before loss and loneliness.
He is the only person in Christine's life
who can share memories with her
of her dearly departed father.
The pain of Christine's loss is acute
many years after his death.
She seeks assistance from her father,
calling to him across time, space
and lifetimes.

I can easily feel how Christine is torn
between these two sides of herself
and her conflicting needs.
The lure of the Phantom is so strong.
There is a part of me that wants her to go to him
and not look back.

When they are together she loses track of everything
else in her life.
She both craves and fears this.
and repulsed by this dark side
which overtakes him at times.
In the same fashion
Christine is both turning toward
and running from different parts of herself.
and to make music with her,
for him to compose
and for her to sing his compositions.
It seems he will stop at nothing to
obtain his desire.
that to hold on so tightly is to lose
that which we love the most.
And Christine knows she must leave him,
that her life in the world above can be tailored
to suit all her needs.
My heart breaks for them both,
and for Raoul, Christine's benevolent protector,
who knows he cannot be everything to her,
nor she to him,
but loves her nonetheless.
Each year, come Autumn, I give in
to my own cravings and indulge in
watching Phantom.
Are there any guilty pleasures you are willing to share?
I encourage you to bring them out into the air
where they can breathe.
Chances are that others are right there with you.
Common threads are what connect us all
as human.
Until next time...
AnneImages courtesy of Warner Brothers.